The Stranger in our House

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

About wives: She needs good communication

As a communicator, she needs to talk, share, hear, but she also wants to be heard and understood..

She feels a fight is being resolved if they are still talking, he feels it is over when they stop talking. She will raise her hand and ask for help, he will find a cave somewhere and try to work it all out. She will get directions when lost but he will ride around, past filling stations and other sources of help, until he finds the place. She will know where the turnoff is even when she is not looking, but he will ride on by.

Now don’t get me wrong: I am a guy and fiercely loyal to guy-dom. My sons and I love all that makes us men, because we really just know how to have good old dirty fun and can find it in all kinds of cool things: explosives, fire, fishing, hiking, pranks …

I will do another series to help women relate to their men, because it is such a great need, but for now let’s just stick to the issues of men relating to their wives.

A woman is a communication-holic. Most women cannot survive without a network of friends, family and telephones to keep them connected to life. The modern workplace needs to adapt to that reality and encourage networking if they want to get the best out of their women employees.

Women solve things by talking, men solve things through reflection and contemplation, which is why Rodin’s Thinker is portrayed as a man. Look at the photos of famous statesmen and invariably the best shots are of men standing alone in deep thought. It is not wrong and many great leaders have wrestled with immense decisions by walking the lonely road reserved for great leaders.

But a woman is rarely able to function without opening up the discussion and incorporating many views. I do not think that makes women superior in the workplace, but it does bring a vital balance to the workplace, because women are biased towards a more consultative leadership style that can be very useful in some, but not all situations.