Another male role is to anchor roles and be a backbone of authority in healthy, balanced families.
The need for authority is a tough and thorny subject to work through.
Let me start by bringing some balance. I believe women all over the world have been oppressed for far too long, yet they have so ably proved themselves in the workplace and in the life of the church. Many ministers will tell you that the backbone of their congregations comprises women and many bosses will tell of the competence of women employees. They are also more resilient, able to multi-task and blessed with a very real intuition that is vital to effective decision-making in politically tainted contexts. Solomon also recognized these virtues in Proverbs 31:10-31.
I have spoken in a separate context about the social order of the African Lion and shown how the females do most of the real stuff that keeps the pride going. They obviously bear and raise the next generation, but they also hunt for food, hold the pride together, train the younger lions and so on. The males don’t do as much, but their focus is vital to the sustainability of the pride.
The males define and preserve the social order. They slap the young into line and enforce discipline. I cannot foresee male lions becoming effeminate, sloppy or weak, for it would destroy lions as we know them. The most important function of the male lion is to mark and protect the boundaries of the pride. If he does that well, the pride is able to live, eat and sleep well and the females will then happily do all the other things that are so vital to pride life.
He really has to take some big hits against pretenders to his throne and many lions die in such encounters. Unfortunately, if the dominant male is beaten, the existing pride faces great risks for the interlopers will kill the young, eject older cubs and alter the whole balance in the pride.
The male role in the family is a role amongst roles. It is not the only authority, nor is He able to do as much as the wife will often do, in the home that is. Okay, some of that is changing in the modern era and roles are being shared more so that families can survive modern pressures. However, whilst she is essentially better equipped for many domestic roles, she is limited where he is strong. A man can impose discipline by his presence and voice, where she will fail even if she becomes a screaming banshee.
Whatever your delicate views on this sensitive subject I hope you are mature enough to see that I am referring to role diversification and the value of complementary roles, for that is the stuff of really successful homes. Wherever I discuss these issues, women complain that the few areas where men are uniquely more effective are the same areas where men are all too frequently reneging on their God-ordained functions.
Boys and girls get their sexual identity from their fathers. They also acquire their concept of God from their fathers. Life experience has also convinced me that no matter how loving and caring mothers are, few people have ever found fulfillment outside of the approval of their fathers. The pains I hear expressed so often are pains relating to childhood and development experiences between fathers and their children.
A father is a vital role anchor for children and wives and helps them all keep in touch with what they were meant to be. He can help a successful business-women regain perspective on her femininity in a harsh, often brutal world. He can help her feel fulfilled beyond anything that her work can ever do, for secretly she ultimately works to provide for her family, unlike men who can actually find fulfillment in their work alone. Similarly children use their dads to set their own compasses and to test whether they are finding their mark in life.
He is a vital reference point to the family. He is also the defender and protector of his family and by that I refer not just to physical threats to the home, which men tend to handle better. He is also the defender of values, principles and traditions, preserving his family against the corruption of the world and the influences around us. He plays a vital role in all of these.
Women may well resent the implications of all of this for decision making. I am not of the view that leaders in any situation should be unilateral. I favor a consultative, inclusive and mediated approach to all decision making, because each member of the family, especially the wife, is a vital stakeholder in the destiny of the family.
I have made some foolish decisions on my own, but have always arrived at more balanced solutions when I consult with my family and we pray through things together. God may hold a father accountable for the outcomes, but the process should still be inclusive, for that makes each member of the family feel needed and valuable. More importantly, inclusion equips the family for their own respective life roles by teaching them principles of good decision-making and leadership. The greatest role of a father is to equip his children to leave home with confidence in their ability to thrive in life.
(c) Peter Eleazar at http://www.bethelstone.com/
The need for authority is a tough and thorny subject to work through.
I have spoken in a separate context about the social order of the African Lion and shown how the females do most of the real stuff that keeps the pride going. They obviously bear and raise the next generation, but they also hunt for food, hold the pride together, train the younger lions and so on. The males don’t do as much, but their focus is vital to the sustainability of the pride.
The males define and preserve the social order. They slap the young into line and enforce discipline. I cannot foresee male lions becoming effeminate, sloppy or weak, for it would destroy lions as we know them. The most important function of the male lion is to mark and protect the boundaries of the pride. If he does that well, the pride is able to live, eat and sleep well and the females will then happily do all the other things that are so vital to pride life.
He really has to take some big hits against pretenders to his throne and many lions die in such encounters. Unfortunately, if the dominant male is beaten, the existing pride faces great risks for the interlopers will kill the young, eject older cubs and alter the whole balance in the pride.
The male role in the family is a role amongst roles. It is not the only authority, nor is He able to do as much as the wife will often do, in the home that is. Okay, some of that is changing in the modern era and roles are being shared more so that families can survive modern pressures. However, whilst she is essentially better equipped for many domestic roles, she is limited where he is strong. A man can impose discipline by his presence and voice, where she will fail even if she becomes a screaming banshee.
Whatever your delicate views on this sensitive subject I hope you are mature enough to see that I am referring to role diversification and the value of complementary roles, for that is the stuff of really successful homes. Wherever I discuss these issues, women complain that the few areas where men are uniquely more effective are the same areas where men are all too frequently reneging on their God-ordained functions.
Boys and girls get their sexual identity from their fathers. They also acquire their concept of God from their fathers. Life experience has also convinced me that no matter how loving and caring mothers are, few people have ever found fulfillment outside of the approval of their fathers. The pains I hear expressed so often are pains relating to childhood and development experiences between fathers and their children.
A father is a vital role anchor for children and wives and helps them all keep in touch with what they were meant to be. He can help a successful business-women regain perspective on her femininity in a harsh, often brutal world. He can help her feel fulfilled beyond anything that her work can ever do, for secretly she ultimately works to provide for her family, unlike men who can actually find fulfillment in their work alone. Similarly children use their dads to set their own compasses and to test whether they are finding their mark in life.
He is a vital reference point to the family. He is also the defender and protector of his family and by that I refer not just to physical threats to the home, which men tend to handle better. He is also the defender of values, principles and traditions, preserving his family against the corruption of the world and the influences around us. He plays a vital role in all of these.
Women may well resent the implications of all of this for decision making. I am not of the view that leaders in any situation should be unilateral. I favor a consultative, inclusive and mediated approach to all decision making, because each member of the family, especially the wife, is a vital stakeholder in the destiny of the family.
I have made some foolish decisions on my own, but have always arrived at more balanced solutions when I consult with my family and we pray through things together. God may hold a father accountable for the outcomes, but the process should still be inclusive, for that makes each member of the family feel needed and valuable. More importantly, inclusion equips the family for their own respective life roles by teaching them principles of good decision-making and leadership. The greatest role of a father is to equip his children to leave home with confidence in their ability to thrive in life.
(c) Peter Eleazar at http://www.bethelstone.com/
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