When my firstborn was about two, he adored his little blue gum-boots and could go nowhere without them. One day his mom kissed him goodbye as she dropped him off at creche. She said to Tim, "Jesus is in your heart", to which he replied, "and in my boots".
A few years later he and his little brother were jumping up and down in the backseat of the car, when he said "let's drive each other nuts". Nancy Sinatra's shoes may have been made for walking, but when a person allows God's spirit to fill their shoes, give them direction and lead them into adventure, not only does it rub off on others, it also drives Satan crazy.
We need Jesus in our hearts, but unless our lives acquire a living purpose in Him, we are no more than an ark without water: destined to go nowhere, with a faith that is irrelevant, untested and unable to rise to the challenges of life.
In the formative years of their lives, our children walk closer to us, looking to us for direction, purpose and instruction. Consequently we build little fences around them, to define their limited boundaries and to protect them from childhood perils. As they grow, we slowly push out the boundaries until eventually they are removed completely. By then, it is hoped that sound fences have emerged within their hearts and that they have developed an internal compass that can guide them to right decisions and a sense of purpose.
It is not our role to build our children towards us and to so rule their lives that they become dependents. It is our function to build away from us and to develop them into independent, self-assured people, who can leave the home and walk into the world with their heads held high.
They are not ours and never will be. They came from God and must return to Him. I have always believed that they were entrusted to me and as such I have stewarded their precious lives in a way that would enable me to account to God for them. I must hand them back and surrender them to God's purpose for their lives otherwise I will frustrate them and rob them of human worth and dignity. As such, every lesson, every moment of learning relates not to the offence as much as it does to the principle behind the offence.
The law kills and when we instruct or discipline around the offence, as such, we impose the law and kill the spirit. However, when we focus on the spirit of the law, the principle behind the offence, we add life.
If a child is penalized for running along a corridor, his response will be one of fear, defiance or avoidance - none of which are fruits of the Spirit. When a child learns that younger children could be hurt and he could slip if he runs along a corridor (assuming that the ruling is not in itself petty and irrelevant to a young, energetic child), the child will display traits of consideration, self control and peace - fruits of the Spirit.
Jesus is in their little boots. The call of God is on each precious life. They have a divine potential for good. Our role is to steer them away from what is bad and to instill an aspiration for that which is noble and of good report. I have witnessed far too many liberal schools and their capacity to breed social misfits, but I have also witnessed conservative schools that all too often punish for petty offences and thereby provoke frustration and resentment. I firmly believe in discipline, but when a boy behaves like a boy I get excited, for in our effeminate, emasculated world, far too many men grow up repressed and domesticated, with no will to rise up and be men or leaders within their culture. Girls respond to restraint far more readily than boys do, because they are wired differently. It is rarely naughtiness that leads to boys burning things or climbing on the roof, rather it is the spirit of manhood calling them to wild adventure and a purpose in God.
When Tim was about twelve, he unintentionally set fire to a compost heap in our back yard. It was a raging fire that had neighbors hosing it down from across the wall. When they asked what was happening, I merely replied, "I have sons": they fully understood what that meant.
Afterwards, I had a choice to lay into my already distressed and regretful son and thereby forego a teachable moment or to use the moment wisely. I chose to sit him down and talk about fire, about how, since the dawn of time, men carried fire. They carried it into their villages and caves and harnessed it for the protection of their families, for warmth and for light. Later they acquired the use of guns, a variant of primitive fire. It was defining of a man to handle the danger and fury of fire with responsibility and restraint. The intention was to add value to the village, not to burn it down. I have since been hunting with Tim and could share with him that guns are very dangerous things, to be used responsibly, to protect and defend, never to cause harm.
I then spoke of the fires of our lives, fires that we must manage to define our lives. Our sexual fire is intense, yet when a man chooses to restrain himself and not spill his fire, but to channel it into meaningful, responsible living, he will emerge as a man indeed. Similarly, the fire of purpose and passion, if used for reckless living, defines a man as a fool, but a focused life is like an arrow that flies straight to its target and sets men apart from boys. Now God too gives us His fire, the zeal of God which comes as the fire of His spirit, a flame that burns in the heart and lights up young eyes. That fire must also be channeled, so that children find their purpose and step up to the plate to assume a meaningful place in the course of life.
Life affords us no greater responsibility or privilege than to raise the next generation, so invest purpose and dignity into their lives and equip them to walk, nay to run through life with such purpose that when at last they stumble into the ground, they go down panting and with a victorious smile on their faces.
(c) Peter Eleazar at www.bethelstone.com
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