About men: We don't need another hero

Ever since my boys were tots they have cried out "watch me Dad", before diving down a full staircase onto the mattresses far below or exploding a home-made incendiary device or doing a double-somersault into the pool or walking along a parapet above a 3,000 foot sheer drop or launching a rocket or, more recently, to review their academic progress. I never had girls so I can't comment on that, already complex mystery.

The need for approval and recognition is a powerful driver in men. It was the key driver behind all the greatest waves of history. Unfortunately it is also misplaced.

So having upset a whole lot of ladies I am now upsetting a whole lot of guys

As my own journey with God enfolded, He stripped away my many layers until I stood naked before Him. One of those layers was a man-made imposition that guys must have all the answers and make all the provisions for their homes - it imposes a heroic role that is unsustainable and generally a great big lie. God provides and God has the answers. We don't need heroes, we need grace.

I must add here that one of the biggest stumbling blocks of leadership, especially (in this context) male leadership, is the assumption that they must have the answers, the vision or the resources to make everything happen. No - the sweet spot of leadership is where we become like Moses or Paul, in taking what we receive from God and committing it to faithful souls. God never glories in our accomplishments or original thinking, but is delighted when, like Abel, we bring back to Him what He first entrusted to us. Indeed, when Moses had his individual moment, God effectively said, "dare not speak to my people that way. They are mine, the product of my workmanship. So now rather you walk away."

Men were also half made

Ouch. I am really treading on corns here. The truth is that we are all half made. We were designed to be complementary. The very fact that we need food and shelter, was God's way of inducing co-dependencies, without which we cannot and will not know His heart. Similarly, God distributed natural resources (minerals, land, water) and human resources (skills, talents, exerience), so that we may trade with each other and find meaning in the human collective. Thus, even if a man becomes the focused, sharp end of a marriage (a generalisation), without the balancing effect of a wife's relational skills, the marital team will always be stilted.

I have to again make the point, that leadership is not sufficient unto itself. Good leadership is not about using the people as a platform for self-realization, it is a process by which we cultivate and coordinate the activities of others so that they can be effective. It is never about us. Leadership is only a role amongst roles, useful to the extent that it brings vital direction and backbone to a team, but generally less than useful in the roles that others (often women) are better equipped to fulfill. Vision is a collective consciousness, which a skilful and relevant leader learns to distil through interaction, prophetic influences and consultation, so that the people ultimately fulfill their own God-given potential instead of being shoe-horned into a leader's mold.

The most heroic of all the Godly souls of history, were the shepherds – because shepherding is what real leadership and fatherhood is all about.

(c) Peter Eleazar @ http://www.4u2live.net/
Image source: http://www.toddsmithphotography.com/