About men: The home shepherd

In a previous article I showed that Jacob, Abel, Moses, David and Abraham were all shepherds. They were not distinguished by their physical prowess or sweat capital. God despised those things that we so often associate with manhood: sweat, strength and initiative. He looked beyond those obvious externalities and sifted people to find men who could ably steward his kingdom.

God’s men all happened to have learnt about stewardship though shepherding. God used that to demonstrate the contrasts between them and the men he rejected in their favor. Thus Esau and Cain both leaned on their manly skills but failed to impress, whilst Jacob and Abel deferred to their pastoral skills to win the favor of God.

I have often heard men preach on “manliness” and have felt that in doing so they generally missed the point. Godly manhood certainly does not disdain strength (take Peter as an example). Rather it emphasizes pastoral values.

In my darkest hours, wiser men observed that the primary role of men is not even about providing, a notion that has put many men under great pressure. Providers are generally affirmed by our culture, but as soon as they fail they are cast aside, minimized and ground to powder by their perceived failure. It is a tough call and I have personally experienced how painful it is to fail in this way, for it reflects on what makes men significant to the prevailing culture. Although it is noble for men to provide and good to lay up a heritage for their children, that is not their defining identity. Yet it would seem that men who lose their employment status run this risk of isolation and banishment.

The same tribe of men that so loves to categorize men, as early as school years, conveniently places softer men into a limbo state that they generalize into “Gays”. Only some of that group really deserve the label. Some are the victims of harsh fathers and many others are the victims of a harsh, judgmental society that lacks the guts to accept less physical men as men at all.

But God does not see it that way. He loves pastoral men and entrusts their more compassionate hearts with great things. Indeed, when the last curtain falls on history we may well be very surprised by whom God cites as heroes. Jim Collins’ book on “Good to Great” leadership, draws similar conclusion revealing America’s greatest leaders as being typically soft-spoken, self-deprecating, humble … but fiercely resolute.

To me, and the bible supports my view, the real heroes of God, are Spiritual Priests within their homes and cultures. They pray often for their families and take deliberate steps to keep their families intact, close to truth and far from trouble. They speak wisdom into their homes and guide their sheep to greatness. They do not resent the success of their wives, but pray that God will give them fulfilling roles in a tough world.

Priests of the home liberate and empower their homes, never stifle, but lay foundations for individual expression that enable the family to become an effective battle unit. They are tough, tougher than many apparently tough guys. They will fight for what is right and resist all wrongs, but most of their fights are played out on spiritual battlefields. Yet, for all their toughness, they are gentle, able to love their families with a heartfelt love.

The world we live in has emasculated men and that is tragic. But in some respects men got what they deserved. When they stopped talking to their children, defending their homes, upholding loving discipline or lovingly shepherding their sheep, they abandoned their posts and left it to their wives to fulfill their natural roles. Unfortunately for the same men, who felt that working hard was validation enough for their manhood, women are now succeeding where men once dominated – so much for our manhood.

If we are to reclaim our identities we must look to the bible and rediscover the fear of God: the beginning of all wisdom. To reclaim our families and become living examples, shepherds must be man-enough and humble enough to stand accountable for the sheep entrusted to them. But in doing so, most reasonable (or at least Godly) women will not only learn to trust their husbands again, but they will also rediscover real fulfillment – in their homes, their work and their spirituality.

(c) Peter Eleazar at www.bethelstone.com